Where I’m at…(A Mother’s Day Reflection)

May 9, 2010 at 1:05 am (Kids) (, , , )

I am supposed to be in Madrid, Spain with my husband. I am not. I am in my little house in Wisconsin with my three kids, the youngest of whom has some horrible barfing virus.

She feels rotten because she is sick. I feel rotten because I don’t get to go to Spain with my husband, and visit my old roommates, and meet Gema’s new baby and hang out in the best city in the world. My oldest feels rotten about the baby feeling rotten and me feeling rotten. Henry feels okay.

Happy (expletive) Mother’s Day, right?!

Am I bummed? I’m not going to lie – there have been a few tears shed Chez Belfry this weekend. But actually, I suppose there are worse ways to celebrate being a mother. This is the kind of thing that you sign up for when you’re a parent…to have a kid is to commit to putting someone else’s welfare ahead of yours for the duration. I know there are lifestyle gurus who advocate “putting yourself first” but I think that’s bullshit, in a word. You start with the sacrificing from the minute you see the double pink line on the stick and you don’t stop…well, maybe ever. But that’s not why we get a day in our honor…we get it because we don’t resent our kids for all the trouble they cause. Because we love them unconditionally…when they’re naughty, when they’re a pain, when they’re puking on us at eight in the morning the day we’re supposed to leave for Spain. Because we’re grateful to the core for the chance to love like that, and we wouldn’t trade it for anything…although Luz, if you could aim the other way, I’d appreciate it.

Anyway, happy Mother’s day. To my mom, to all the moms, to me.


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Fab Five

May 8, 2010 at 1:59 pm (Kids) (, )

Five years ago today I got the best Mother’s Day present possible. Happy Birthday to my best boy.

Happy Baby Henry

Happy Baby Henry

Happy Big Henry

Happy Big Henry

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The Mary month of May…

May 5, 2010 at 2:14 am (Uncategorized) (, , )

Today was the May crowning at school. What’s that, you ask? The kids brought in flowers and in lieu of mass (priests are on retreat) we said the rosary and crowned statues of the Virgin and Child. Of course, when I pulled my rosary out of my bag, my two-year-old asked in the shrillest of tones, “Mommy what’s that?” thus demonstrating both what a lousy Catholic and what a lousy Catholic mom I am.

It’s not even that I don’t like the rosary. I always have one with me actually. Lots of different cultures use prayer beads…mine just happens to have a crucifix on it. It’s immensely comforting when I’m anxious (airplane) or impatient (doctor’s office). I think I have kind of a pidgin rosary thing going on…that is, I’m not clear on how to pray the Glorious vs. the Sorrowful vs. the Joyful Mysteries, but I am grateful for the calming and meditative effect of saying a pile of “Hail Marys.” In fact I could probably do with saying them quite a bit more often…and then Lucy wouldn’t be wondering what that thing that looked like a necklace was.

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Still here

May 4, 2010 at 2:40 am (Uncategorized) (, )

I haven’t posted for a while, largely because the contents of the posts wouldn’t be too edifying. Let’s take a look at what the last month or so would have looked like:

“March 28. Sucks being Catholic

April 10. Still no fun.

April 22. Pretty miserable about the Church.”

(I just made all those dates up, so don’t try to corollate them to anything…oh, and Dad, Mom, if you’re reading I’m sorry I said “sucks.”)

Nevertheless I’ve been plugging away, taking comfort from mass, trying to pray, trying to read, trying to find God in the details.

I’ve had some help.

A friend sent me a great link that I want to remember, so I’m dropping it off here. Check out “A Good Catholic School Story here.

Also, my family saw the second graders make their First Communion on Saturday. The girls were dressed to the nines in their white dresses and veils and the boys were dapper little dudes as well. And they were so pleased with themselves, so excited and so focused. It was tremendous.

So there are positives out there…

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